Here and Now

I sit here, happy, glad that my Internet service has been restored, appreciating access to the world of information at my fingertips...Oh how sad and pathetic then that with all the information out there, I cant think of anything I would like to go and find....So, its happy and sad...a contradiction and yet again perhaps an apt metaphor for my life at this time...

Was reading some Eckhart Tolle last night - The Power of Now - some heavy stuff, but he writes in a very easy way, using words that do not intimidate. Live in the Now...I like that.

Words

Words, sometimes so powerful and sometimes so meaningless...

take the word space as an example - dictionary.com definition number 19: 

freedom or opportunity to express oneself, resolve a personal difficulty, be alone, etc.; allowance, understanding, or noninterference: Right now, you can help by giving me some space. When used at an inappropriate junction within a relationship it could sound the death knell, the proverbial beginning of the end, and at other times, it could be just what is needed to keep a relationship healthy...just a word, but it can be so powerful if used at the right time, and so destructive at other times... Sometimes my word flow so easily, and at others, I struggle to get the right words out. Conflict, resolution, abrasive, easy, hard, happy, sad, etc.etc.. just words used to describe feelings, feelings sometimes kept under wraps. Opening doors that cannot be closed, doors closing, new ones opening, all just words...*sigh* I'm really struggling to get the words out. I'm not making any sense lately, and I'm always saying the wrong things - probably an indication of the conflict going on in my mental space. Must find the time to clear the cobwebs, make plans for 2009, answer the questions that need answering, find the me that's not quite me at the moment. I'm so tired of asking for somethings, tired of not having enough, tired of waiting to be happy. So I'm doing a mental stock take, chucking out the old thinking, and replacing it with what I know works. Finding new words - Joy, Happiness, Abundance, Success, Fun, Creativity... I have been a victim of my own thinking again - using the wrong words to create my current reality, hiding form the now in the past, languishing in self pity - but NO MORE!!!! So today I start the 10 day Joy Program - out with the old, in with the new....